Should I say sorry? Again??

It’s funny how life takes a turn and one finds oneself at the same corner after what seems a long span of time albeit a totally different situation.

I still remember almost two years back, I was frustrated, seething with fury and pained at the agony of being ridiculed for my weight issues, which had in the first place prompted me to ask myself..“Should I say “sorry””. And here I am again today asking the same question.

My question back then and even today was why are people so ignorant to sensitivities and emotions of other people. And why don’t they think twice before commenting on somebody else’s life situation, physical attributes or lifestyle.

Two years back, I had cried bad, and I was so disturbed by non stop judgment of others as how big I looked or how the clothes won’t fit me or simply “madam we don’t have your size” and believe me I was not even really really overweight. It was the attitude or coarseness, which made me cry, not my physical size.

I actually had a relative comment, if you don’t watch what you eat and simply not do anything whole day, you will be the way you are. As if I loved being overweight, and as if he was running my household on a daily basis, living my life struggles and tackling my health issues. Anyways that was then…..

And today when my situation is more conducive towards a more constructive weight loss, I run into people who are like”” Oh my God” what have you done” and believe me it’s not in a nice way, another one that makes me cringe is “besharm Kitna exercise karegi, translated literally, shameless, how much are you going to exercise”. And then there are those at parties, who would actually count every morsel I eat and comment ” how much dieting are you going to do”. I have had people who actually see that am I eating all the fatty, fried food or not.

Irony is that once I was questioned and commented on being not the right size, and today I have people judging me as to how much I work out or how much I am eating to loose weight and to maintain my lesser size body, and how beemaar (not well) I look.

Does it really matter to any one how I look, I was not hurting people when I was overweight (I still am, though considerably less), nor am I hurting anybody by exercising or keeping a check on what I eat. It was my body then, it is my body now which I am pushing hard to loose the weight or starving myself, it is my choice based on my circumstances. Why do I have to be called names.

What I do not understand is that why do people don’t think twice before saying anything. Does it really take that much brains to realize what one is saying might hurt the other person. what it takes is a little empathy and a lot of heart to be nice to others. One may not be hurting others by being physically imperfect or perfect, but one can be really hurtful by the mere words they speak.

I was beautiful then to whom I mattered and I am beautiful even now to whom I belong to or loved by, No Matter What!