Category Archives: In English

Closed Door


Every day when I wake up in the morning, I look across the hall and hope to see the door closed, but it’s always OPEN. There was a time Not so long ago when I used to get irritated seeing it closed!!

Life is a ever changing journey but one constant is that we have to let our babies grow thier wings and let them fly, though it’s easier said then done. It takes a lot of heartbreak and tons of courage to let them go. And it happens to all whether ready or not!!

And it hit us too, last fall, came the time when we had to go, drop our son in college. I was so mentally prepared, had friends and family wishing me well, ready to wipe my tears, give me good advise and basically to hold my hands. I so thought I could handle this bravely, cutting the umbilical cord, and letting him soar into newer skies. After all it was for his good future and that’s what parents hope for and work for!!

In the weeks prior to his leaving we spent so much time prepping , packing, making new memories. And finally the day came, we packed the car to the remotest of corners, we didn’t know even existed and reached his new home. How we made sure he was ready and how we set up his dorm room is another story for another time! The bottom line is we made sure he was comfortable. We even extended our trip by a day after taking good bye pictures. I guess it was more for me than him.

Next morning we took goodbye pictures, AGAIN, hugged and were about to leave, when he said. “Mom wish we could go for a walk, it’s so beautiful right now”. But I was the prepared mom, ready to be strong and with a smile, I told him “next time” and we left!!

I kept on taking pictures of his retreating back till the time it was a just blur in my camera lens which was fogging up because of the rain falling outside!! I never realised it was the mist in my eyes and in my heart.

On the four hours trip back home, I didn’t waver once, I was solid as rock. I listened to music, wished him all the luck from deep inside my heart. I was GOOD to go. Wow!! I was so strong. And then we turned the corner into our street, and what do I see, a shiny red car, HIS CAR, HIS FIRST LOVE, glittering in the sunlight, in all it’s glory. And the floodgates opened.

In every corner of the house, were reminders of him, the pantry and fridge full of his favorite food. His room in shambles, empty of his favorite belongings, his most loved things now adorning his dorm room, a home away from home. I sat in a chair and cried for so long that I forgot how it felt to be without tears. And I knew I was not alone in my misery, my daughter, my husband we all shared the emptiness. And so did many more of my friends who had just dropped thier offsprings in hope of making a brighter future for them. We all shared the collective grief, but well, it was for thier best. Isn’t it!!

Now everyday I miss him in simplest of things I do, when I drive, when I listen to Sufi music, crack simplest of jokes, or watch his favorite show. I miss him when I need to talk to him about something random. And the most I miss are my regular walks with him, which were the best part of my day, talking ‘n’ sharing daily life stories. Not to forget him doing the groceries and running errands, dropping, picking up his sibling and just being my rock.

Some one said it right your kids may out grow your shoe size, your height but they never outgrow your heart.

Now we wait for him to come home every few weeks, do all those things we enjoy the most together as a family and even those which used to bother me earlier, like him closing the door of his room in the night.

Now I look forward to those days, when I get to see the door closed and I get to open it and say “Wake up, it’s time, good morning my SUN (Son)”!!

Thank You!!


My day started with notes,

And wishes galore,

On my special day

There were lots of calls

Both from home

And across the globe

These are a few lines

To say thank you all

Few words to express my gratitude

Few pearls from heart to say

I am loved and cherished by all

The circle of friends

The strength of my loved ones

The blessings of elders

My heart goes out to say

I am so incomplete without you all 

My better half, my guide

And the two precious gems 

Walk with me side by side

Together with them 

I love and live my life

They are my core

Making me Complete and who I am

These few words are just to say

Thank you to each one and all

And to God, the Almighty above

The most Gracious One, 

Who makes me feel so loved

And touches my soul 

Story of my shoe collection 


It is  known fact among my friends and family, that I love shoes. I have a big collection of them, though its a different story, I like to wear only a few of them on a daily basis. I am often asked, why do I own so many shoes? why do I love to buy shoes at the drop of a hat.


Now when I think about this love of my life, believe me it looks like that to some people, I go back to the days when we were growing up, we had two pairs for school, one BATA chappal and if “mahine ka akhir”  (End of the month) allowed a fancy pair to go out. Only different thing we could do in high school with our shoes was to wear “GOLA” shoes instead of plain and simple “Mary Jane”  kind or to find different way of tying shoelaces in PE ones. I know many would identify with me and don’t read “OLD”, I am still from the era of QSQT and Chandni (80’s Bollywood movies) (thinking more shoe…now with chandni look).


Two incidences that stand out in my memory. My  mom had a “London returned” cousin, and she had these fancy leather boots all embroidered and “oh” so good looking. She promised to give me those once she outgrew them, only hindrance was she was quite a few years older then me. With time I resigned myself to the fate of not owning them, but they came in my dream so often.


And decade later, while raiding my granma’s house, I found these “Dream Shoes” in the attic. With much aplomb they were cleaned and were tried on, “hear drum roll in the background”, but to my dismay they had grown mold inside them and with broken heart were shown the garbage can. “OH” what a sad day, I can still feel the pain of loosing my dream shoes. I own a lot of boots now but nothing come close to owning the damaged, forbidden ones.


Now lets move on to the story of” The white belly shoes”. Belly shoes are very common in India, closed flats and very versatile. I had a white pair and I so wanted a black one to match my outfit. I was going with my friend and her brother to fill in college application forms and I decided to treat myself to new shoes. Yes!! long before term  “DIY” got commonly used. I actually did Jugad, took some black polish and made by white shoe turn into “DIY” new black ones.


Proudly I stepped out, feeling so proud of my matching outfit and shoes. But the day didn’t last on the same note. By afternoon the white started peeping out, saying hello to the world. By the time I reached back home, it was out in the open, and like Cinderella, I had lost my glass slipper for then, till my handsome prince found me a new one (prince part to be true to the princess story 🙂 ).


The life moved on with ups and downs. My actual Prince Charming came, and my parents made sure to send me off with a nice collection of sarees, suits and of course shoes. And by the time my parents visited me in my new home abroad, my collection had grown substantially. One of the few things I did to prepare for their visit, was to put almost all in trash bags, and hide them in the closet. In case you are wondering why, I was embarrassed to own so many, as I had seen my parents working hard to provide us with necessities and luxuries.


Going back to the story, picture the moment my parents enter the home, and first thing my then five year old says, “Nani, dekho mama ne kya chuppaya” ( look grandma, what mamma hid), it actually felt like that ad, “jab main chota bacha tha” Unbelievable, but they say na “bache man ke sache”


Well, there are many more incidents, that  I can share which mark my love of these glossy or matt, solid  or rainbow colored piece of leather or canvas. And not to forget my closest friends have contributed to the varied variety.


The  best thing about shoes is that my size has stayed the same  over a long period of time. But just to make clear, my shoe size has remained the same. It’s as loyal to me as my love for them.







Each and Every Moment


“ONCE UPON A TIME”…..well isn’t it the way all stories start? But so many time so many things happen and the imprint gets logged in heart in such fine way as if it’s today… apt would be to start a narration with “EACH AND EVERY MOMENT”.

When I close my eyes, I see “U”, I remember the day when we first met. Nothing major outwardly happened, the world went on its way, but like a true TV serial, the world actually stopped for me in some sense. We all may have moved on with our lives but part of me is still waiting and cherishing you, like in a time warp. With u smiling through your eyes, and me just watching you, spell bound, speechless, as if in a trance. The funny thing is you never realized what effect your smile had on me then and still does. If my silence could speak, it would have conveyed, the ups and downs of my heartbeat.

It was taboo for a girl to propose, it was a wait, a very agonizing wait. Every time you spoke, or just looked in the direction where I was, I willed with my whole being for you to realize “ that you felt the same way, as I did”, what you didn’t realize, was my silent love for you. And when you spoke it were always you speaking to a little girl, not a woman in love. How I wished you could see, the woman I was.

And then you were gone for a long long time. And all that time I carried your picture in my wallet, hiding it from all and stealing  glances when nobody was around  and waited. Only my bestie, my friend knew all and together we shared stories and told all. And finally I threw that picture away. I might not have that picture anymore with me, but I still get that sheer drop of heartbeat when your eyes, your smile surface.

Funny, that you may not be a part of my life anymore, but you still are. We might be miles away, unaware of our places in life, but I still know you through the eyes, that smile and speak, to me even now at  “EACH AND EVERY MOMENT” when I dare to let myself wander through the past.



DAD, Just a three letter word,

But a pillar of strength

Soft and mellow at heart,

But truly a wall of rock.


A guru, a friend

my DAD is my,

Beacon of light

Guiding constantly,

Standing by all times.

Whether Good or bad.


Never seen a tear in his eyes,

Though his heart cries.

For pieces of his heart,

Whenever they take a fall.


DAD won’t let us get lost

Holding his finger,

Walking by his side

Can cross any hurdles

And walk the hardest miles.


His love knows no end

Silent but still so loud

Gentle but still so strong

DAD a three letter word

Like a HUG, always around.






Life is a Journey,

With new Beginnings coming along every day

New Sunrises, new Rainbows spreading joy on every face


Life is a Sea,

With myriad emotions coming ashore

Bringing along newer highs and newer lows


Life is a Bouquet,

With some fresh flower, and fresher hues

Coloring the world with brightest strokes


Life is a Song,

With lyrics so different each time

Singing and humming a sweeter tune


Be it a journey, sea, bouquet or a song,

Each with its own meaning, its own joy

Life does bring across some moments

That ones feels should be bygones


But isn’t it lovely that each goes by so fast

And LIFE starts loving LIFE again so much more

And we start loving Life beyond all hope.

Starting a new Journey


IMG_0182Well it might sound, I am travelling to a new place, or on a voyage, but the journey I am writing about is from couch to 10K (6.2 miles) run!!

Actually I have always admired people who run marathons and are runners for their goal and dedication. I have wanted to run since a long time, and so in a moment of don’t know what???,  I actually went ahead and signed up for a 10 K run, not 1, not 5, but 10K.  I might not be sounding coherent, but that’s what I did, without any prior experience or running. To speak mildly,  I am not a runner (:.

I started thinking seriously after gaining a lot of weight back, which I had lost last year, over the summer break . After procrastinating for two weeks, I actually went ahead and registered for the run, paid the amount and set myself a goal. I am blogging this to keep myself true to my goal. Even if I can get half way through I will be happy, ultimate goal is to be fit and healthy and be confident that I can do it too.

And hence I start a journey of 14 weeks to 10k, health, hard work and perseverance!

Week 1, Day 1

Today was day 1, it was hard to push myself to start my first day, but I then did and  went ahead on a 30 mt circuit with walking, running, alternating between the two, completing two miles. By the time I finished, I was questioning myself, why am I doing it?  It was hard but I hope to keep up. Felt tired initially, but then a sense of I can do it overcame.

Join me in my journey, in this virtual world, first few weeks might be boring, since I would be concentrating on catching my breath, but I guess I will be able to tell more stories, share music and experiences.

See u soon, back on my journey…..

love and live life!! Cheers!!

Reacharcs.. A circle of love


My blog id is Reacharcs, which I did coin by simply putting the first initial of my family members name and adding the word reach to it.. so it essentially meant reach the ARCS….coming together to make Reacharcs…but it did have another dimension, another meaning  to it, namely;

R eaching

E eternity with

A bundant

C aptivating

H armonious

A rdent

R elations

C ulminating in

S afe

Circle of love…my heaven…my Home

Should I say sorry? Again??


Should I say sorry? Again??

It’s funny how life takes a turn and one finds oneself at the same corner after what seems a long span of time albeit a totally different situation.

I still remember almost two years back, I was frustrated, seething with fury and pained at the agony of being ridiculed for my weight issues, which had in the first place prompted me to ask myself..“Should I say “sorry””. And here I am again today asking the same question.

My question back then and even today was why are people so ignorant to sensitivities and emotions of other people. And why don’t they think twice before commenting on somebody else’s life situation, physical attributes or lifestyle.

Two years back, I had cried bad, and I was so disturbed by non stop judgment of others as how big I looked or how the clothes won’t fit me or simply “madam we don’t have your size” and believe me I was not even really really overweight. It was the attitude or coarseness, which made me cry, not my physical size.

I actually had a relative comment, if you don’t watch what you eat and simply not do anything whole day, you will be the way you are. As if I loved being overweight, and as if he was running my household on a daily basis, living my life struggles and tackling my health issues. Anyways that was then…..

And today when my situation is more conducive towards a more constructive weight loss, I run into people who are like”” Oh my God” what have you done” and believe me it’s not in a nice way, another one that makes me cringe is “besharm Kitna exercise karegi, translated literally, shameless, how much are you going to exercise”. And then there are those at parties, who would actually count every morsel I eat and comment ” how much dieting are you going to do”. I have had people who actually see that am I eating all the fatty, fried food or not.

Irony is that once I was questioned and commented on being not the right size, and today I have people judging me as to how much I work out or how much I am eating to loose weight and to maintain my lesser size body, and how beemaar (not well) I look.

Does it really matter to any one how I look, I was not hurting people when I was overweight (I still am, though considerably less), nor am I hurting anybody by exercising or keeping a check on what I eat. It was my body then, it is my body now which I am pushing hard to loose the weight or starving myself, it is my choice based on my circumstances. Why do I have to be called names.

What I do not understand is that why do people don’t think twice before saying anything. Does it really take that much brains to realize what one is saying might hurt the other person. what it takes is a little empathy and a lot of heart to be nice to others. One may not be hurting others by being physically imperfect or perfect, but one can be really hurtful by the mere words they speak.

I was beautiful then to whom I mattered and I am beautiful even now to whom I belong to or loved by, No Matter What!



Walking by the moonlight

Hand in hand, side by side

Whispering sweet nothings

Drowning in each others eyes

That sweet moment to hold

That sight, that face to behold


Beautiful is the moment of love

When one is lost to oneself

And gets complete at

The sight of darling beloved

Which brings joy and life

And oh! what peace of mind


But those sweet nothing’s

Loose their worth,

When Those deep eyes are

Nowhere to be found

With the moon in the clouds

The shadows are drowned


What loves gives to oneself

Is a mystery beyond

Is it love, or pleasure

Is it softness of heart

Or jewels or treasure

Is it emptiness of soul

Or just Sea of tears

Deep and so profound